Days 20-25 – I’m struggling

26 September, 2010

…to practice, to find energy, but I still try….prayer, teaching and asana and the angels I call friends are my medicine…but at night, I cannot sleep…I mean I CANNOT sleep, it doesn’t matter how exhausted or drained I am (and I have been recently)…the silence of night crawls into my skull and taps away at me “what’s up?? whatcha thinkin’? whatcha doin’? “….and I start to process: the day, the asana I did, what’s happening with one of my yoga groups that I teach, am I too old to essentially start my life over the way I want to (more on this thought later)….I remember “vairagya”….I meditate sometimes, but sometimes I forget to keeping plugging away at the little steps I think I need to find peace…I’m bleary-eyed, tired and rambling (I hope I’m still eloquent though šŸ™‚ )

maybe a haiku before i try to turn my savant-genius brain to the “Off” position, if only for a moment

“i turn the lights off
in my head, the bulb still burns
inhale…exhale…”sigh”

swww

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